Pamela Anderson Dubious Celebrity Clear Cut Song

The Pamela Anderson Dubious Celebrity Clearcut Song

There’s a hillside out of Castlegar
And as far as you can see
All the trees are missing
It’s such a tragedy.

Some loggers came and took them,
but they’re not the ones to blame
they’re just trying to feed their kiddies
and isn’t it a shame?

The company they work for
points to the invisible hand
“We’ve done nothing here illegal
and our profits sure are grand!”

Well some folks up at the Chamber
came up with a brainstorm
“We’ll make lemonade with lemons
and make the tourists come!”

So they named it.
Named the clearcut.
Called it the Pamela Anderson Dubious Celebrity Clearcut!!!
And strangely enough in a fit of self-referential irony Pamela herself came to cut the ribbon
And that photo opportunity meant that another 37.3 acres of trees had to be
Cut down and turned into paper so we could read…..
About the Pamela Anderson Dubious Celebrity Clearcut.

I wonder if she gets it
Does she really know
That her dubious celebrity is the cause
Of so many trees to go

Into the pulping grinders
And the celebrity bray
That cranks out check stand fodder
At the neighborhood Safeway

So if you want to save our forests
The best thing you can do
Is stop buying all those magazines like
Intouch and Wow and You!